📺 Watch the Full Clip with Donald Robertson Talking About the Kindness of Marcus Aurelius:
When people think of Stoicism, they often imagine a cold, unemotional philosophy focused on enduring hardship without complaint.
But is this really what Stoicism—and its most famous practitioner, Marcus Aurelius—taught? In my recent conversation with Stoicism expert Donald Robertson, we debunked this misconception and explored how Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD, embodied kindness as true strength.
This blog post dives into Marcus Aurelius’s life, his Stoic philosophy, and why kindness and emotional mastery made him one of Rome’s most admired emperors.
Marcus Aurelius: Was He a Good Emperor?
Marcus Aurelius is often called the “Philosopher-King,” a ruler whose wisdom and virtue set him apart in Roman history. But was Marcus Aurelius a good emperor? Let’s explore his life and reign:
- Who Was Marcus Aurelius? Born in 121 AD, Marcus Aurelius ruled Rome during a turbulent period (161–180 AD). He faced constant wars, plagues, and internal rebellion, yet he remained committed to Stoic principles. His private journal, Meditations, offers a glimpse into his mind, revealing a leader who prioritized wisdom, humility, and justice over unchecked power. Learn more about his life in this detailed biography from Britannica.
- Why Was Marcus Aurelius a Good Emperor? Marcus was exceptional for his time. Despite leading military campaigns against Germanic and Sarmatian tribes, he advocated for universal brotherhood, treating even his enemies with compassion. He lived modestly, rejecting the excesses of power, and focused on justice and fairness in governance. Historians often rank him among Rome’s “Five Good Emperors” for his dedication to the well-being of his people. For a deeper dive into his contributions, check out this article from History.com.
- Challenges to His Legacy: Some critics argue Marcus Aurelius wasn’t perfect. For example, he couldn’t prevent the rise of his son Commodus, whose disastrous reign inspired the villain in Gladiator. Yet, Marcus’s personal writings show a man striving to do good in a flawed world, making him a relatable and inspiring figure. Read more about these criticisms in this analysis by Donald Robertson here.
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” — Meditations, Book 10.16
Marcus Aurelius wasn’t just a good emperor—he was a Stoic who redefined leadership through kindness, self-control, and a commitment to humanity. Want to learn more about his life and philosophy? Check out my full interview with Donald Robertson above.
The Misconception of Stoicism: It’s Not About Being Cold
Many people misunderstand Stoicism, assuming it means suppressing emotions or being indifferent to life’s pleasures and pains. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In my discussion with Donald Robertson, author of several books on Stoicism, we uncovered the real meaning of the philosophy:
- Stoicism Is About Emotional Mastery, Not Suppression: Marcus Aurelius didn’t ignore emotions; he sought to understand and manage them wisely. His writings in Meditations emphasize self-control and compassion, not detachment.
- Kindness as Strength: Marcus believed in “philostorgia” (brotherly love), famously writing, “All men are made for one another. Either instruct them, then, or put up with them.” Even during war, he viewed his enemies as part of a shared human family, advocating for justice over vengeance.
- Why the Misunderstanding? Over time, terms like “Stoicism” have been distorted. Donald explained that modern psychology sometimes uses “stoicism” to describe unhealthy emotional suppression—an idea ancient Stoics would reject. True Stoicism aligns with practices like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), focusing on transforming emotions through reason. Learn more about Stoicism’s influence on modern psychology in this article from The Guardian.
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Meditations, Book 4.3
Marcus Aurelius’s Stoicism wasn’t about being cold—it was about being wise, compassionate, and resilient. This philosophy helped him govern Rome and can still guide us today.
Marcus Aurelius and the Power of Emotional Control
One of the most profound lessons from Marcus Aurelius is his redefinition of strength. In a world that often equates power with aggression or dominance, Marcus offered a different perspective:
- True Strength Is Self-Control: Marcus believed that angry or aggressive people were weak, while those who mastered their emotions were truly powerful.
- A Historical Example: During a civil war led by a rebellious general, Marcus was mocked as a “philosophical old woman” for his restraint. Instead of retaliating with anger, he responded with wisdom, affirming that real manliness lies in kindness, not aggression.
This Stoic approach is one reason many consider him a good emperor. For more insights into his leadership style, check out this exploration from National Geographic.
The Stoic View on Love, Connection, and Universal Brotherhood
Stoicism isn’t just about personal resilience—it’s also about our relationships with others. Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics believed in cosmopolitanism, the idea that we’re all part of one human family. Here’s how this played out in Marcus’s life and philosophy:
- Universal Brotherhood: Even while defending Rome in battle, Marcus saw his enemies as fellow humans, not monsters. He wrote, “We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes.”
- Social Virtues: Stoicism emphasizes justice, kindness, and fairness as the highest virtues. Marcus believed natural affection (philostorgia) was part of human nature, making Stoicism a deeply social philosophy.
- Practical Applications: These principles are invaluable for modern life. For example, as a parent, I use Stoic ideas to cultivate patience and emotional balance, ensuring I’m a stable and loving guide for my son—not distant or detached.
“Adapt yourself to the life you have been given, and truly love the people with whom fate brings you together.” — Meditations, Book 8.7
Stoicism doesn’t make you cold—it makes you a wiser, more compassionate person. Marcus Aurelius’s commitment to these ideals helped him lead Rome with integrity.
Practical Stoic Exercises Inspired by Marcus Aurelius
Want to apply Marcus Aurelius’s wisdom to your life? Here are two simple Stoic exercises you can try today:
1️⃣ The View from Above (For Perspective & Connection):
- How to Do It: Close your eyes and imagine zooming out from your current location—above your town, country, and eventually the entire Earth. Reflect on how small your problems seem in the grand scheme.
- Benefit: This exercise fosters a sense of universal brotherhood and helps you let go of petty frustrations.
2️⃣ The Pause Technique (For Emotional Mastery):
- How to Do It: When you feel anger or frustration, pause before reacting. Ask yourself, “Is this response aligned with my highest self?” Then choose a wiser course of action.
- Benefit: This embodies Marcus’s belief that true strength comes from self-control, not impulsivity.
Why Marcus Aurelius Still Matters Today
Marcus Aurelius’s life and philosophy remain relevant over 1,800 years after his death. Here’s why:
- A Model for Leadership: Whether you’re leading a team, a family, or just yourself, Marcus’s emphasis on wisdom and kindness offers a powerful blueprint.
- A Foundation for Modern Psychology: Stoicism inspired Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), showing how ancient wisdom can address modern mental health challenges. For more on this connection, see this article from Harvard Health.
- A Source of Inspiration: From his timeless quotes to his role in popular culture (like inspiring Maximus in Gladiator), Marcus Aurelius continues to captivate us. Want to explore more of his famous quotes? Check out this collection from Goodreads.
So, was Marcus Aurelius a good emperor? By most accounts, yes—his reign was marked by wisdom, humility, and a commitment to justice, even in the face of immense challenges. But more than that, he was a Stoic who showed us that true strength lies in kindness and self-mastery.
Go Deeper: Watch My Interview with Donald Robertson
If you’re curious to learn more about Marcus Aurelius, Stoicism, and how these ideas apply to modern life, check out my full conversation with Donald Robertson. We dive into Marcus’s life, his writings, and why Stoicism is so misunderstood today.
Final Thoughts
- Stoicism isn’t about cold detachment—it’s about emotional mastery and compassion.
- Marcus Aurelius believed in universal brotherhood, even toward his enemies.
- True strength lies in being kind without being weak.
The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” — Meditations, Book 6.6